Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
