Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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