My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
