He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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