"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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