bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
