I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
