I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
