plz talk dirty to me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
