My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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