...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
