Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh god it's open bar.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
