remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
