So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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