your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
