JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
