I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
