Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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