Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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