We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I want a musical about memes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
