Sry I called you an 8
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
