Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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