I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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