I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
