well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
