Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
