so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
