Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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