I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
