I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Come see our sink grown plant.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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