He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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