But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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