Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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