why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
