I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
