he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
