big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
