Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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