I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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