when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
