every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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