So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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