At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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