I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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