whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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