I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
