Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
