hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think i have herpe
just one?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
