This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Randomize
