I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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