i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
