About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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