from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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